I've been doing a lot of poems but no updates.
*I'm still jobless but applying for a paid internship as a worship leadership. I have an interview on Thursday at 3:30. I think it says on job connect $100 a week, quite a lot for one week for a college kid!!! I did apply for Foxhole but didn't get an interview as there were lots of applicants.
*Things have been kinda stressful as there was some drama (of which I was not cause of) now it's died down, and I'm failing a class. If I don't do well I can't come back to Fox. =( However my other classes are fine, I enjoy all of them. I'm loving learning to pray with my hands. I actually did for a friend, I prayed to God only in sign, then translated for him.
*I still miss my friends that aren't here anymore, but I got to see Petey (Jennifer Rae Peterson). Jen Cushmen is coming down in Nov.
*The salsa dance was last night. My date was my good buddy Scottie Porter. We had a lot of fun and took lots of pictures. I also got the priviliage of dancing with Joey Bianco, Jay Miller and Chris Martin.
*Main event was superhero theme, we were the "Apartibles" after the Incredibles. We won third, I think PC... whatever that group was got first, and I think Co-Ed second.
*The 80's dance rocked. I finally got a 80's dance t-shirt, bright yellow with 80's dance on it followed by Pacman. (Wearing right now actually) The third place costume winners were two guys in sweats, 2nd girls dressed like Kiss, and Matthew David Dyrland-Marquis and friends as Packman and ghosts. There was a guy dressed like a bannana and Matt sprints around the quad while we're waiting to get in. Of course the ghosts followed. It was so funny!
* I'm doing horrible in Women's chorale, I almost dropped out. I've just been getting tired too quickly in class, not sure why. However I have stubborn friends who refuse to let me! =D
*My friends are amazing! They have been helping me and won't let me give up no matter how stressful this semester has been.
That's all for now I think!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Wrote like a month ago, Will you love me too?
You're a lost soul,
in the lonely world,
but you fail to see,
right next to you is me,
I've been there all this time,
while you've confided,
tears shine in your eyes,
as you look at me,
You cry on my shoulder,
because you know I care,
and you don't know where to go,
praying to find some peace,
cause it's a dark time,
and you wonder alone,
dreams like rain from the sky,
pouring down,
All your pain,
all your anger,
let go of it tonight,
feel the freedom,
the cool breeze under the night sky,
Take my hand,
and dance around with me,
lost in each other,
we don't have to hide,
because it's just you and me,
like we're the only two people here,
your hands in mine,
the stars above,
oh,
will you love me too?
in the lonely world,
but you fail to see,
right next to you is me,
I've been there all this time,
while you've confided,
tears shine in your eyes,
as you look at me,
You cry on my shoulder,
because you know I care,
and you don't know where to go,
praying to find some peace,
cause it's a dark time,
and you wonder alone,
dreams like rain from the sky,
pouring down,
All your pain,
all your anger,
let go of it tonight,
feel the freedom,
the cool breeze under the night sky,
Take my hand,
and dance around with me,
lost in each other,
we don't have to hide,
because it's just you and me,
like we're the only two people here,
your hands in mine,
the stars above,
oh,
will you love me too?
The torn label
Labels,
hanging all around,
the scars they leave,
the broken people left behind,
because behind the label everyone,
has scar,
Don't you mark me perfect,
just because I'm a Christian,
I'm just another person struggling too,
we're not all the same,
even in same faiths,
backgrounds,
races,
no one is exactly the same,
nor perfect,
I'm tired of being told,
I can't do it,
because of my labels,
I'm ripping it off,
cause I am what I am,
Ugly,
beautiful,
jock,
geek,
emo,
sticks and stones,
for those who are called them,
but on the tag,
few ever read person,
would it kill the world,
to walk in another's shoes,
to not sling arrows,
but seek the truth,
behind broken eyes,
broken lies,
I am who I am,
I say what I am,
God knows who I am,
I know what I am,
cause I'm ripping at label,
Nobody's perfect,
who ever says it is selling something,
believe in one another,
because we need to live the Truth,
not through abuse,
fight to win the day,
ignoring what the world wants,
and stick to who or what matters,
the ones who care,
judging,
condemning,
hurts just as bad as pain,
Jesus make me the better woman,
because you see me right,
not annoying,
or anything else,
but something beautiful,
like You see everyone else,
I am who I am,
I say what I am,
God knows who I am,
I know what I am,
cause I'm ripping at label!!!
hanging all around,
the scars they leave,
the broken people left behind,
because behind the label everyone,
has scar,
Don't you mark me perfect,
just because I'm a Christian,
I'm just another person struggling too,
we're not all the same,
even in same faiths,
backgrounds,
races,
no one is exactly the same,
nor perfect,
I'm tired of being told,
I can't do it,
because of my labels,
I'm ripping it off,
cause I am what I am,
Ugly,
beautiful,
jock,
geek,
emo,
sticks and stones,
for those who are called them,
but on the tag,
few ever read person,
would it kill the world,
to walk in another's shoes,
to not sling arrows,
but seek the truth,
behind broken eyes,
broken lies,
I am who I am,
I say what I am,
God knows who I am,
I know what I am,
cause I'm ripping at label,
Nobody's perfect,
who ever says it is selling something,
believe in one another,
because we need to live the Truth,
not through abuse,
fight to win the day,
ignoring what the world wants,
and stick to who or what matters,
the ones who care,
judging,
condemning,
hurts just as bad as pain,
Jesus make me the better woman,
because you see me right,
not annoying,
or anything else,
but something beautiful,
like You see everyone else,
I am who I am,
I say what I am,
God knows who I am,
I know what I am,
cause I'm ripping at label!!!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
"Art and roseTuesday, September 15, 2009
Scream (Let it out)
I pretend to be something I'm not just for you,
hide the hurt you've put me through,
I long to scream,
you can't stop talking about it,
leaving promises dry,
I long to scream,
SCREAM
Because I've wasted time lying to myself,
holding it all in,
trying to just survive instead of livin',
swallowing your lies,
foolish me,
now drowning in your misery,
my tears fell,
as the clock strikes,
trust a broken song,
I used to sing,
now I long to
SCREAM,
Because it seemed so easy not to speak,
but in the end silence isn't golden,
cause it rips and tears the inside of me,
I know perfection is far,
but can you blame me for trying,
because you are,
fighting and not winning,
but surrender is so damn easy,
and it begs,
SCREAM
AH,
SCREAM,
You crave to break free,
SCREAM,
won't come out because the setting is wrong,
LET IT OUT!
*Disclaimer don't cuss usually but tonight...*
hide the hurt you've put me through,
I long to scream,
you can't stop talking about it,
leaving promises dry,
I long to scream,
SCREAM
Because I've wasted time lying to myself,
holding it all in,
trying to just survive instead of livin',
swallowing your lies,
foolish me,
now drowning in your misery,
my tears fell,
as the clock strikes,
trust a broken song,
I used to sing,
now I long to
SCREAM,
Because it seemed so easy not to speak,
but in the end silence isn't golden,
cause it rips and tears the inside of me,
I know perfection is far,
but can you blame me for trying,
because you are,
fighting and not winning,
but surrender is so damn easy,
and it begs,
SCREAM
AH,
SCREAM,
You crave to break free,
SCREAM,
won't come out because the setting is wrong,
LET IT OUT!
*Disclaimer don't cuss usually but tonight...*
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
As school starts
Basically, school has been up and down, two days in.
*I am rooming with Katie Jones-Lucero and Sharay. They are awesome and cheer me up when upset and love my enthusiasm.
*I'm excited about all my classes: Christian Foundations, Understanding Jazz, Women's chorale, General Psychology, Christian Beliefs, Photography 1, and American Sign language 101. High points so far: Listening to a few examples of different eras of Jazz, a not bad text for CF, and singing again, watching a silly veggietales song at the end of gen psych, discussing what Theology is, a silly joke told by Irv, not having to end up buying the expensive photography book, and learning to sign the alphabet and numbers 0-10.
*Forrest Cammack has been such a blessing.
*I miss Steve, Willy, Melissa, Oscar, Heather and a few others who aren't here no more, they helped make Fox Fox. Fortunately Willy came to the hoedown, and I heard from Smo yesterday and hope to recieve a letter from him. Willy lives in Clackamas, so he's gonna be around as much as possible.
*I am out of the job. I considered a new job near the end of last year, but didn't want to fill another app out, and they changed the schedule around because of the reconstructed dining area. I was not fired, but these factors let me not have a position for the year. So I'm now jobless and on the hunt. Oh well all I did was wipe counters it seems and that was boring. I was and is still considering working at Foxhole, but it's only one night for a certain amount of time, and I need more hours. So prayers please.
Well that's all for now!
*I am rooming with Katie Jones-Lucero and Sharay. They are awesome and cheer me up when upset and love my enthusiasm.
*I'm excited about all my classes: Christian Foundations, Understanding Jazz, Women's chorale, General Psychology, Christian Beliefs, Photography 1, and American Sign language 101. High points so far: Listening to a few examples of different eras of Jazz, a not bad text for CF, and singing again, watching a silly veggietales song at the end of gen psych, discussing what Theology is, a silly joke told by Irv, not having to end up buying the expensive photography book, and learning to sign the alphabet and numbers 0-10.
*Forrest Cammack has been such a blessing.
*I miss Steve, Willy, Melissa, Oscar, Heather and a few others who aren't here no more, they helped make Fox Fox. Fortunately Willy came to the hoedown, and I heard from Smo yesterday and hope to recieve a letter from him. Willy lives in Clackamas, so he's gonna be around as much as possible.
*I am out of the job. I considered a new job near the end of last year, but didn't want to fill another app out, and they changed the schedule around because of the reconstructed dining area. I was not fired, but these factors let me not have a position for the year. So I'm now jobless and on the hunt. Oh well all I did was wipe counters it seems and that was boring. I was and is still considering working at Foxhole, but it's only one night for a certain amount of time, and I need more hours. So prayers please.
Well that's all for now!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
As summer starts to come to close...
I'm way too ready to go back to Fox. I'm bored out of my mind and spending way too much time with Grandma (well, maybe not enough, but just enough to drive me insane). Plus I have few friends here and they are always busy, and can't drive. Stupid permit test...gr... And all my good Rogue River buddies, aren't... tears.. there anymore... (Cliff is a RR but we're not close lol).
Pros:
*Last Saturday Jen Cushman, Alex Post and Kirsten came to Medford and surprised me! My whole family BUT me was in on it. Lol. We went to Red Robin, had Cold Stone, and came to my house, looked at the horses, taught everyone but Kirsten (she knew already) to do archery, and hung out. They even had me dust off my sax and play it!!!
*Heather was coming through Medford and stopped at my place, we gave Skip a peppermint (He loves vistors because we have to feed him peppermints so he'd smile for the guests), ate dinner, made a silly fb video, listened to music, watched funny youtube vids, and watched a little Jeff Dunham.
*Today I had to entertain some kids with Spongebob, our horses (Skip wouldn't smile even with the treat) and many other things while their daddy worked on my Dad's Rhino. They were polite, but the two year old was very needy. Still wore me out. I'm not into Spongebob, so I gave them my Spongebob pillow and drink cup from Universal studios.
* Tomorrow morning I get an opportunity for more experience as a future youth minister (Reverend Zerkel, nice ring to it huh?) by helping at Sunday school tomorrow.
*I have done the children's moment in a service at church, and the kids loved it, they told me so!!! It was about listening to God. I had 4 items: a heart, an ipod, a cell phone and an ear. I asked them which item lets them truly listen to God. First service the guess was ear and heart. They were right on the heart, I told them that opening our hearts is the best way, because the ear is too easily distracted, and the other stuff doesn't help either. Lol, second service ipod. I said true you can put Christian music on there, but that wasn't it. It was fun =D!
* Steven Mortinson and I are planning on doing a joint project, aka my poetry his photography! We're making it into a book with 15 of my pieces and Steve's photography that fits each. It's called, by Steve's suggestion, Me, Myself and Kim, although, lol, that sounds selfish to me, cause it isn't just my book. Steve, new title? Lol. Draft is sent to Steven, now we need photos and edits, then Steve will use a program to see it published! All his idea!
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